February 2011
1 post
the L word
so, i’m taking a convo class now
in a you-know-what english course, the one that has natives speaker
and.. i was being told that the class i took, which is the convo class, wasn’t a convo before
it was real english
and a thought just pop out in my head *thanks god it’s still work, normally, i’m not normal, remember?
maybe.. they change their class for me
just for me
...
January 2011
2 posts
“when ‘be yourself’ become just another quotes…”
messed up
yeah i messed up everything
“it’s because i’m tired”, that was just an excuse, i admit
still don’t get why did it end up like that
i mean, i still have my smile at 6
but then it just turn up in to ‘worst’ when i get there
is it a ‘defense’? a shock? a lack of confidence? or simply just because starving?
i hate those reasons
just made me...
November 2010
2 posts
“i miss old days when the only thing i have to care about is my dolls”
escape
yeah, i think i’m trying to escape from something that i must done
this ‘lazy’ thing has poisoned me, ruin all my plan to work with that freakin’ paper
i havent finish anything, and they keep chasing after me
but what i’m doing is just hang out with my notebook, complaining and make some excuses about ‘ran out of inspiration’
maybe i lost my mind
June 2010
2 posts
left behind
phisically, it’s holiday, of course
no class, no assignments, no exams
but mentally, it’s even harder than ‘campus time’
with the pressure, and everything else
what pressure?? that must be something you ask
well, when you see everybody else do hard working for ‘future’, everybody but you
for me that’s a pressure
seeing them, keep moving forward, do...
“i don’t say i hate it, but today is absolutely not my favorite day”
May 2010
3 posts
cost of trust
remember when i said somethin about trust? in the previous post?
well now, all i can say, it’s fake, i’ve been cheated, they lie to me
and all the comfort thing that i’ve ever said, it’s just the sign, the sign that i’ve been cheated, sign to make me alert from anything big, and bad, that gonna happen
and it’s really happen
and i dont notice it, the sign you...
choices
life is a choice
good or bad, cool or geek, active or passive, open or close
it’s all about choices
and it’s your right to choose
no true or false answer
well, it should be
but people judging
like they always do
you have no right to interupt, or contradict
not fair, of course, life is never fair
and that’s the rule
take it, or leave it
now that’s all the choices...
no reason
dont need a reason to love something. . or hate something
it just did
and that’s the way it is
well i think. .
February 2010
3 posts
mayday
i’m start to feel comfort, well let say, almost
and it’s something that shouldn’t be happened
i’m gonna stand in the place that i was
and making no movement, or changes
oh my. . being me is so not easy
wondering there is no other people who ever thinking like the way i do
“justice is really exists, but in so many different shapes”
January 2010
24 posts
“we can’t pleased everyone. . yeah, but still, i can’t stand for any...”
watching myself in the mirror
i’ve watched a dorama, a nice one, old one though
controversial issue, as usual, and different ending, but still a happy one
i think i like it
the way they made the main cast character, somehow i feel like it’s “really me”
well, not fully “really me”, but the bad side like quiet, not expressive, a little individualistic, antisocial, hard to trust people for...
“it doesn’t matter whether it’s right or wrong, as long as you happy...”
– one of any recent dorama i’ve watched
otak saya penuh sampah
ahh kacau, otak gw terlalu penuh
mau disortir deh, yg sampah dibuangin
masalahnya, gw bingung mana yg sampah mana yg engga
jgn2 malah sampah semua???
*sampah: sesuatu yg ga perlu, kalo di kasus gw, jadi ga perlu karena cuma bisa ngendep di otak doang, ga direalisasiin*
monolog
a: nulis?
b: iya, lg galau
a: bgs, berisi, berarti berisi kalo lg galau doang ya??
b: ???
“isi lebih penting dari kemasan, well di kasus gw, isi tidak sebagus kemasan...”
ceramah
haha balik ngumpul sama anak2 ko malah galau
diceramahin sama temanku tersayang dan nyentil bgt
you know what, i really wish i can do what you said
kayaknya isi otak dan mental gw ga berkembang
luarnya doang yg ganti, dalemnya masih sama kayak anak smp
inilah mengapa gw selalu kagum sama mereka
haa susahnya menjadi gw
nunggu jam 4
ngapain yah???
tokyo dogs!! hahaa
still him
i hope someday we can know each other, and being friend, or maybe more
well, just a wish
envy him
betapa menyenangkan nya punya interest dan bisa konsisten
iri
gw punya interest tapi ga capable buat ngejalanin
gw sanggup, mulai, tp ternyata ga tahan lama
harus punya kalo ga niat ya konsistensi, trus kemauan kerja keras, baru bisa
dan gw ga punya satupun
pathetic
dia lagi
bahkan gw salah nulis di twitter
dia bikin gw ga fokus *mencari kambing hitam*
ahhh gw keracunan, tolong
emm. . otak gw maksudnya
pengakuan
gw baru saja dan sedang melihat multiply A.P.!!!!!
oke gw sebut nama, gw ngaku salah, gw uda gila
gimana cara nyetopnya???? omai omai ini kesalahan! tapi kesalahan yg menyenangkan, bikin nagih, gimana ini???
gw mau ngakuu
dia uda pulang, pernah di jakarta, satu kota sama gw, bahkan di hari ulang taun gw!!
oke gw hiperbola, jelas
gw overexcited, sangat
padahal dia bahkan ga tau gw ada,...
“people come and go, but i’m still here. . no movement, no changes, how...”
how is today??
its amazing to see that you really enjoy your holiday, i mean by wasting it, do nothing
just forget about the guilt and voila! its suprisingly happy
the only problem is just one, how to get over the guilt and stres, and feel happy about what you have now
well, i’m still working on it. .
December 2009
10 posts
“He always gives you anything you need, even when he doesn’t gives you...”
another silent thing
A : silent is gold
B : so i must be rich by now
silent thing
A : silent is easy
B : silent is gold
A : so gold must be easy, right?
another waste
i waste my time again
for just nothing
why can i be another people??
my head is full of random things
and most of them is such a waste
sometimes i think i need a hypnotise thing
to give me a suggestion
so i can change my habits, my characters, my self
well, its just a theory
round round baby round round
omai. . my head is spinning
so painful
and the problem is
i’m going to meet my deutch test at 5
how come???
mood boosters, please
why did everything go wrong??
im tired of being myself
and bored with this kind of mood
i need the better one
just to help me get through this day, or even this week. this month??
ahh what can i do to clean up this messy feeling??
daaammnn
November 2009
22 posts
“hey darl, be proud of yourself, be happy of your life, and be grateful of what...”
just a random thoughts
i’m the most idiot pathetic silly person in the world i know
its trully a fact of me
and think about it has made me sick
ahh, for this time, i really wish a was somebody else
or at least, i have somebody mind on my head rite now
what a day
need anything to boost my mood right now
shit. seems like i’m being a loser again
did i do wrong??
please don’t let it be too deep
just keep it this way
ahh i wish i have any other choice
i don’t mean that i regret it, regret them
i just think that. . well perhaps it’s gonna be better if it can be changed